Hansel and Gretel: The True Story
by Myron D. Sanders

Once upon a time, in a village in Switzerland lived a teenager, Hansel, and his twin sister, Gretel. On their 14th birthday, their mother sent them out into the woods while she prepared a surprise party for them. As it turned out, the mother was the one who ended up with a big surprise.

While they were wandering out in the woods, Hansel and Gretel got lost. Eventually, they came upon a house made of Gingerbread. After walking about all morning they were hungry so they started eating on the house. Now, the house belonged to a wicked witch, named Helga, who ate children. When she heard the sound of the children eating on her house, she came out and grabbed them.

After looking over the two, she decided that Gretel would make the best meal, so Helga locked Gretel in a cage hanging from the ceiling. Then she forced Hansel to help her prepare vast amounts of cakes, cookies, pies, and other sweets for Gretel to fatten her up.

Now Gretel, who was already a little bit overweight, was glad happy to eat all the sweets she could hold. After the first six-months she had gained 100 pounds and was starting to develop into womanhood. Her breasts were fully developed, and with the extra weight they were soft and round, like her belly. Hansel was amazed at how full and round his sister had become. By the time of their 15th birthday, Gretel had gained another 125 pounds; she now was at a sexy 360 pounds. Her measurements were 50-45-60. A luscious pear-shaped babe that would drive any FA mad. However, the witch was starting to feel that it was time to eat Gretel.

Like most witches, Helga only had one eye, and she couldn’t see too well out of it anyway, so she had to use a seeing glass. Scared that the witch would make true of her threat, Hansel stole her seeing glass while Helga was asleep, and broke it. Without her seeing glass, Helga had to test Gretel’s weight gain now by feeling her forefinger, and checking the amount of fat on it.

So, when the time came for Gretel to be checked, she stuck out a chicken bone, from the previous night’s dinner. Thinking the bone was Gretel’s finger, Helga screeched out, "She’s nothing but skin and bones! We must bake twice as much now… she must be fattened up more!"

With Hansel and Helga crazily baking sweets and other fattening goodies, Gretel was gaining weight like crazy. And all the while she was getting more and more beautiful. On their 16th birthday, Gretel tipped the scales at a whopping 700 pounds! The cage she was locked in kept getting more cramped each day, finally six months later, when Gretel had reached 1,000 pounds, the cage could no longer hold her and it burst open. Gretel’s massive folds of fat came spilling out, like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon. The noise of the bursting cage woke the witch, when she came running into the room; a soft, fleshy wall of fat stopped her, which was Gretel’s belly. Once she realized what it was, the witch was in an outrage. She had Hansel fire up the enormous oven she had in the cellar. Then Helga made Gretel go down to the cellar and wait. Later the witch returned with her magic book and started to cast a spell that would make the enormous Gretel light as a feather, so she could easily shove Gretel into the oven. After finding the spell, the witch attempted to roast Gretel alive. However, because Gretel was so massive, she would not fit into the oven. The witch tried as hard as she could, but Gretel wouldn’t fit. While the witch was busy trying to shove Gretel in the oven, Hansel took the witch’s book and removed the spell. At once Gretel fell down and crushed the witch.

With the witch dead, the two left the witch's house to return home. Only after Gretel finished eating the house. Now, at age 17, the two returned home. Both were grown up now, Hansel was still at his same weight before entering the witch’s house. On the other hand Gretel had gained over 975, and was at an impressive 1110 pounds.

Gretel continued to gain, but not as fast as she did before. When she turn 25, she was at 1500 pounds. She met a rich prince from Turkey who treasured her for her massive size and married her. Gretel went to live at his palace and was worshiped like a goddess. Before she died at the age of 76, Gretel reached her top weight of 5,003 pounds.