As told to The Observer by a Government FA
I work in a civil service office job. We have a multi-story Federal office
building with its own cafeteria, soft ice cream machine, you name it. The
prices are generously subsidized so you can get a lot of food for relatively
few dollars.
Well, this girl, call her Lucille Harris, came to work on our floor some
years ago. Fat acceptance was something I had never heard of in those days
and I was ambivalent about my liking of heavier women. I liked looking at
them, even dreamed of dating them, but was to sensitive to their pain to try
to be friendly. And so I would look from afar and just fantasize.
Well, Lucille weighed then maybe 140-150. Not enough to attract any notice
from me --- at least not at first. But I did notice that her clothes were
loose, like she had lost some weight but hadn't changed her wardrobe. She at
the time was rather shy and unsure, keeping to herself most of the time. Had
we not been working in close proximity I probably would not have even
remembered her.
This first impression began to change a few weeks later when I happened to go
to the cafeteria in the morning. She was there too, chowing down a breakfast
fit for a lumberjack. She had a rellano omlette, large stack of hotcakes,
and a couple of patties of meat, quaffed down by a couple of large glasses of
milk. It must have been over a thousand calories!
At the time I thought little of it, but then ran across her again a few days
later at lunch. This time she was having meatloaf, potatoes, vegetables, a
roll, plus a piece of cocanut cream pie and some more milk. Not skim, either.
Another thousand calories. Boy, I thought, this gal has an appetite that
bears watching!
>From time to time as I saw her again it was the same thing --- plenty of the
best the cafeteria had to offer. And it was showing. After six months she
was beginning to really fill out the clothes which had been so loose when she
started work. The had also made friends with some of the other larger ladies
who frequent the cafeteria.
I wondered at the phenomena --- but was too diffident to inquire.
One day, when I was near enough to a table of her and her friend I heard one
of them note that she appeared to be filling out. I was shocked at her
reply"
"I hope so --- most of my best clothes are size 22 to 24. Maybe soon I can
start wearing them."
Then she told them her tale.
It seems she had not so long before been much heavier. She had lost a great
deal of weight to make some bozo who claimed to care for her happier with her
looks --- only to have him get caught playing around with someone else while
still making remarks about her weight! She had dumped him and then
determined not to have anything to do with men. At least, not controlling
ones who wanted to act like he did! She had been fat all her life, enjoyed
eating, had been pressured on the issue as a child, was sick of it, and was
now determined to to be as heavy as she chose to be as an adult. Her
accepting of a civil service job was a deliberate protection against being
discrim-inated against in employment matters --- and her eating habits a
deliberate strategy to fit into her old wardrobe.
I was glad she didn't notice I was listening, and for her remarks shedding
some light on the subject. What was even more interesting was the impact of
her declared example upon her friends. They seemed to be willing to share in
her liberation and become less timid in their own eating habits. A few weeks
later she began wearing clothes which, while not new, were very attractive
although very loose fitting.
This wardrobe set, which I will call stage two, filled out very nicely over
the next year. It was apparent to everyone that she was now comfortably over
200. Instead of being shy and withdrawn she was also becoming more relaxed
and friendly. And whenever someone brought in donuts or pastries to the
department you could be sure some would be on her desk. This was, I noticed,
definitely not someone trying to make others think she was dieting!
I wondered what life must be like for her in the evening, but not having yet
had the courage to admit my status publicly as a FA I never got the chance to
ask.
By the third year she was definitely over 250 and began wearing clothes like
I have never seen before or since. Their uniqueness was because, I would
learn, she had designed and made them herself. They were technically
dresses, tailored nicely to her size, and had fabric pleats along one side of
the front. These latter concealed a zipper that faciliated donning and
removing the garment. They also appeared to have some padding in the
shoulders to give balance to her by now large breasts, amply tummy, and
robust hips.
She now seemed truly on top of her game. She had garnered a promotion based
on the merit of her work somewhere around the 270 lb level and would shortly
be promoted again and transferred out of our department. I don't know for
sure what happened to her but have a hunch.
One day I heard her talking with her friends about a man who had called and
insisted on talking to her personally. Since she was now a supervisor she
generally didn't deal with the public directly unless someone else was
involved first. But he insisted --- and had asked her for a date! After
determining that he indeed knew who he was talking to and that he was fully
aware of her size she had consented.
It had been a delightful evening! He had taken her dining, then to a play.
He had not made one allusion to her weight but complimented her on just
about everything else and, to hear her tell it, seemed giddy that she had
been willing to accept him as an escort. She was on cloud nine but a little
apprehevsive if it would continue.
Well, so far as I know it did. Three months later she left our floor and
building. In those weeks she and her aggressive boyfriend had several other
dates and I believe it was buliding towards something formal. As for me, it
would be six more years before I was willing to come out of the closet and
admit my own zoftig tastes. At least I can say I found a BBW to fulfill
them.