A whole summer at my grandmother's. It was okay when I was younger, but I'm 19
now! I
mean I do love her and I know she's lonely since grandpa passed away but I'm too old for
this. Oh well. I'll make the best of it. Maybe meet a guy. Party at night. She is a great
lady.
And a great cook! Cape Cod is a fun place to be anyway. As I walk in the door, a plate of
homemade fudge awaits me on the kitchen table. I grab a piece or two and call:
--Grandma! I'm here!
_______________________________________________
I have settled in. My clothes are unpacked. I forgot how good grandma's fudge is!
While I
was unpacking I ate the whole dish. Whoops! As I lope back downstairs, Grandma calls.
--12 o'clock! Time for lunch.
I should probably watch my weight while I'm here!
I sit down to lasagna and sausage. Homemade. Fresh garlic bread. Wow is that good.
Oh
my, I forgot about that fudge. About a quarter of the way through my lasagna I am
stuffed. But in my family we operate on the "clean your plate" philosophy.
I rest my forehead on my left palm and eat on. I have always associated my
grandmother's
with fullness from my childhood. Besides, it is really good! When I finished I could
hardly
move and I was slightly short of breath. I really better watch myself.
______________________________________________
I'm on my way to the beach, just a walk across the road and down a path. Suddenly I
find
myself in front of the ice cream stand, ordering a coffee chip dish.
--Really small please! Kiddy small, okay?
He smiles and obliges.
These local kiddies must eat a lot because that kid gave me three scoops and pushed
it
through the screen. He then resumed talking into the phone. To him I was a distraction
from his conversation. To me, he was the devil, giving me way more than I needed.
This is only the first day! The first two hours! I simply have to slow down. I'll skip
dinner.
The ice cream was melting so I ate it quickly. My size six jean shorts had to be
unbuttoned by the end. I couldn't move very well. Groaning seemed to make it better, so
as I walked with my button undone I moaned and rubbed my belly. When I got to the
beach I just lay there and absorbed the sun. My inactivity was surely converting all of that
food to fat! In my daydreams people walked by me on the beach as I snacked on a
bottomless picnic basket. Little children said I was fat as a whale and their parents
shushed them and dragged them away. My dream self was well-rounded and growing
ever
bigger...
________________________________________________
As I banged the screen door open I had every intention of telling my grandmother
that I
didn't want dinner:
--Grandma, I really think I should skip...
There was a note on the table. She had gone to the grocery store to buy food for us
for
the next week. Next to the note was my supper: Two cheeseburgers, pasta salad and
French fries.
The note informed me that she didn't know how hungry I was and that I didn't need to
eat it all.
But that didn't stop me. I could have thrown it away. Fed it to the dog. Ate half.
Flushed
it down the toilet. Anything. But my exasperation made me eat the whole thing. Quickly.
Voraciously. The juicy burgers dripped down my chin, the fries were salty and covered in
ketchup. I saved the pasta for last, but I felt like I would explode for sure!! I stripped
down to my bathing suit and ate it all. All. Tomorrow is another day. Right now I look
like I swallowed a beach ball. My tummy is tight. I have never been so stuffed before in
my whole life! This has got to stop! It's not grandma's fault. It's always been this way. But
my metabolism isn't the same as it used to be. If I don't stop this madness right here and
now I am going to put on a lot of weight this summer...
_________________________________________
It's the next morning. I am starving. They say when you eat a lot that your stomach
expands and you get more hungry and quicker, too. I believe I am a victim of that maxim.
My promises to myself of watching what I am eating vanish with the smell of breakfast.
I sit down at the table.
--I made some of your favorites, sweetie.
I can hear her in the kitchen. I sit down on the long side of the table. A cool breeze
blows
in the open windows. Another beautiful day. I am starving. I am only in my nightgown.
My appetite woke me up at 7:30 I notice on the wall clock.
Grandma comes dancing in, humming. She places a tomato, cheese and bacon omelet
in
front of me. My tummy rumbles. My conscience stumbles. My does that look good. She
comes back with Texas Toast, smothered in butter. She returns with a plate of sausages
and a sweet bun.
--I can't tell you how many times I made this for you over the years. When you were
younger you'd demand it. And pout if I refused. So I thought I'd save all of the hassle.
There had to be enough food for three people. I'd just try a little bit of each plate and
excuse myself.
The sweet roll was hot, sweet and delicious. The frosting made my teeth ache a little
but
it was so good! So flaky and buttery. As our conversation progressed I realized I had
eaten
the whole sweet roll, three links, a piece of toast and half of the omelet. I glanced over
and noticed how fat grandma had become. She was happy though and eating heartily. I
felt myself leaning back and bringing the forkfuls of food over my stuffed belly. I may
just
be as fat as a house by the end of the summer. Her food is delicious, tempting, fattening.
After a while of reminiscing, everything is gone. And I feel so HUGE. How could I have
eaten so much? Day two and all promises are off. I can't control myself with her food.
She
carries away the plates. I look down at my distended belly. In a day dream my grandma is
dressed up in a cheap devil costume and feeding me pies, cakes and pastries. She is
laughing. A napkin is tucked under my chin. My double chin. I look down and all I see is
my full-full belly. There is a huge table behind her, groaning under the weight of an
absolute banquet. Is that all for me? In my dream I am round, fat and expanding...
I had better get myself under control or my friends back home won't even recognize
me...
I feel fatter already...
After my RIDICULOUS breakfast I took a nap. I rubbed my belly and gently
moaned. No
lunch for me. That was "brunch" you know? That made it okay. I woke up groggy and
went outside in the sun to read. 12:00 rolled around and I was able to stave off my
hunger. I was so proud. I could wait 'til dinner. Easily.
__________________________________________
By six o'clock I was famished. Grandma had questioned my skipping lunch. I brushed
it
off politely. She ate hers on the patio in her black swimsuit. She looked like an eggplant.
She ate a great deal. I was jealous.
Dinner time came around and I had a salad with Grandma. She had barbecued
chicken,
corn on the cob and potato salad.
She went out for a while to play whist with some of her cronies. I grew weak. I
hopped on
her rusty three speed and pedaled down to McDonald's.
I ordered for me and my "friend." Waiting all this time had made my hunger insanely
strong. Two Big Macs, two large fries, 6-piece nuggets, two shakes (had to keep up
appearances), two apple pies. I even said that they were for my little brother and his
friend! What a sicko!
I sat down in the failing light of the beach and began to work. Stuff stuff stuff. Eat
eat eat.
It was hot, juicy and good. I was not conscious of my actions. It was automatic. Slurp.
Hic. Stuff. My vision faded as I swooned. My habits were set now. My god my god my
god...what am I doing? I will explode. The apple pies were sweet but a bit cold when I
got
to them. I was soooo stuffed. I hiccuped and breathed heavily. So, instead of two meals
today, I effectively had five. The fat and calorie content had to be astronomical. The
burgers alone were well over a thousand calories! Oh my god. I just stared down at my
stuffed belly. Thank god for my stretchy bathing suit. It was tight around my full-full
belly.
I fell back and lay still for quite some time.
I guiltily threw away the bags and pedaled home. I was doomed. Somewhere a death
toll
was sounded for my petite figure. Were my thighs fatter? My hand brushed under my
chin...was it double yet? It would be soon. My belly had definitely grown. I had never
eaten like this before. I felt like a blimp. I was helpless. My appetite would destroy me. I
struggled to remember my weight at the beginning of the summer... 115. Yeah, that was
it. I hoped to not see a scale ever again.
As I walked in my Grandma was reclining on a wicker chair on the screen porch. She
looked down quickly at my full belly, ever so subtlety and smiled at me.
-- Where you been, Sweetie? Did'ja get a bite ta eat?
--Yup. A salad at McDonald's.
--Ohhh. Okay. I bet you've got room for one of Sanderson's Super Sundaes then?
--Oh, I don't know. I really shouldn't. Really.
--A salad won't hold you 'til tomorrow! Well, at least come along and keep your fat
old
Grandma company, okay? Jeez you're gonna waste away, but what can I do? Your parents
are gonna think I starved you to death.
Couldn't she see? Was I imagining my growth? It was all in my head. The summer
sun had
helped me shed a pound or two in spite of my voracious gluttony. Strange. I felt better all
of a sudden.
At Sanderson's I had a five-scoop caramel fudge bomb to celebrate my relief. And my
bathing suit split down the side.
Unfortunately I couldn't move from my spot at the picnic table...
________________________________________________
The days began to pass more quickly. Before I knew it a whole month had passed. It
was
June 22nd that my parents chose to visit me on. It seemed like a long time since I had
seen my parents. I'd been having a lot of fun. The shock of my bursting bathing suit had
worn off. Grandma comforted me with sweet pastries... I met some nice people. Cindy
was
probably my favorite new friend. She worked at Friendly's up the road a piece. She was a
lot like me, only a lot BIGGER. She was very happy with herself and had a boyfriend that
seemed to encourage her weight gain. Imagine that? A dream come true.
Oh, did I forget to mention that I have been eating non-stop since I broke my little
promise to myself? Grandma is terrible! And waiting for Cindy to get off of work I
usually
get some free snacks from Ed who works in the kitchen. "Snacks" is a relative term.
Some
people would have called them "meals." I have never felt such freedom before! It's great
to have a fat friend. Together we have tried out all of the surrounding mom and pop fast
food joints. My new obsession is finding the BEST fried clams on Cape Cod. With extra
tartar sauce. With Cindy around I could always tell myself, "At least I'm not THAT big."
Some of the things that have been preying on my conscience:
--Eating a whole tray of fresh, hot brownies on a rainy Wednesday afternoon with
Grandma.
--Trying the clam plates at THREE DIFFERENT PLACES IN ONE NIGHT!
--Having to buy my third bathing suit...
Oh god, the list goes on. What am I doing to myself? I figure I'll spend half the
summer
indulging and the other getting back into shape. I haven't changed much...just my
appetite. Really! That scale at the arcade had to be about 20 lb. off! Truly. If you're going
to have a scale for public use, at least make it accurate! My belly does seem to be a bit
rounder now...my thighs do rub together and hey, I always wanted larger breasts!
______________________________________________
Mom and Dad arrive. The car doors slam. Calls from the driveway...
--Sweetie? You home?
--Where's my little girl?
I wait with Grandma on the porch. I am wearing only my bathing suit. My pudgy red
cheeks are sunburned.
My mom pops in the door, followed closely by my dad.
Mom throws her arms around me, kisses my cheek.
--Sweetie, I missed you so! Uh...
She feels my hips with both hands... Runs her hands forward to my bulging belly. She
looks over her shoulder at my dad.
--See this? I told you! (As she rubs my swelling paunch teasingly)
--Shhh! Leave her alone.
She asks grandma:
--What have you been feeding her? My god!
I blush. I look down at my dark, swelling thighs...my plump belly pokes out. I run my
hands nervously around..MY BUTT? No. There is some mistake... It's grown. I used to be
shapely...but this was new!
My a$$ was soft now, rippling to my touch...
--Gee thanks mom...I love you to!
--I'm just saying... Sorry Hon, but you have gained a bit!
--Leave her alone. (Daddy kisses my cheek.) How have you been? Having fun?
--Uh, yeah dad.
Grandma gives me a supporting and apologetic smile. I excuse myself to go to the
bathroom. My belly, my a$$ and my breasts bounce with each step. (I can't wait for
dinner!)
In front of the mirror, behind the locked door, I slip off my bathing suit... I am dark
with a
white/pink "bathing suit" line defined.
My breasts have swelled out to the size of small eggplants. They look good. I weigh
them
gently in my hands...
My thighs have taken the most gain. They look oversized and bloated. My belly
wraps
around my body, hangs delicately downward, my love handles are soft and supple. I turn
sideways...My a$$ is getting quite big! I never new all of these changes were taking
place.
Guess I was in denial... I take off my watch and my jewelry and step on the scale. My
face
is seemingly swollen. I have more cheek and chin than I used to. Looks like baby fat. I
haven't put on "real" clothes in a while...just stretch pants, sweat pants and bathing suits.
I have no idea how I have changed. No wonder mom was shocked. What was I before?
115.
The scale says 150. My god. My god. My god. I try to push my belly in, hide my
fattening
hips...feels kinda good. I AM rounding. I am growing. The thought sends my mind
spinning...
The smells of supper are calling me...
I am starved. And I like to eat until I can't move. Cindy made it fun for me. I am
going to
go and put on a show for my Mom. She wants to know how I got this way? Well I'll show
her! I'm gonna stuff myself taught and insist we go to Sanderson's...
I'm going to enjoy the first half of the summer while I can. Cindy gets off work at
11:00
tonight...
Grandma calls me down to dinner. Eating in my bathing suit allows me to consume
more...
Steak, buttered corn on the cob, corn bread, baked potatoes with sour cream and
bacon...
MMMMMMMMMMM. Can't wait to get down there and GRAZE................
35 pounds. 353535353535353535353535353535353535353535...
What's 35 plus 35? 70. What's 70 plus 35? 105.
It's fascinating to think of my fattening in numbers.
I want to grow!
__________________________________________
In my dream Mom can't reach her arms around me.
I am sipping from an absurdly giant chocolate shake and giggling as I grow round.
Hee hee
hee HIC.
Small talk prevails at the dinner table. I tuck a napkin under my chin and give
appropriate responses when necessary.
One steak. One baked potato. One ear of corn. One huge piece of corn bread. I
chew
and I swallow. The steak is juicy and tender. The corn is slathered in butter. The corn
bread is sweet. The potato is rich and sinful, buried under a mound of sour cream and
bacon. Mom glares at me occasionally. The talk continues. I fill my plate again. Mom
really pissed me off! How dare she say such things! Another small steak. Another
potato. More corn bread. Two more ears of corn. The sea air has made me hungry.
Mom has inspired some sort of bizarre revenge in me.
The last couple of swallows seem impossible. I sit back and rub my bulging, fat,
growing belly under the table.
--Want some more Sweetie? (Grandma)
--Oh, she's had enough! (Mom)
I am rubbing my belly as my body is shaken with hiccups. My thighs are warm and
fat.
My rear end seems to not fit in the chair like it used to. I can see my cheeks when I look
down. They're fatter too
After dinner we drove to Sanderson's. The young kid recognized me as a "regular"
and
gave me my usual: The Sanderson's Super.
--Rebecca. Can I talk to you for a minute alone? (Mom)
--Leave her alone honey, will you? (Dad)
--Just let me finish my ice cream. Mmmm. Try some?
--No thanks
I get up with extreme difficulty. My over-stuffed state makes me want to sleep.
I walk over to Mom where we can have a private talk.
--Honey I
--Just wait a sec mom, gotta sit down. (hic hic)
--Honey you're really packing on the pounds you know.
--Mm hmm.
--Do any of your clothes fit you any more?
--Sure. The stretchy ones, why?
--How much have you gained, anyway? I can't believe it.
--I don't know35..40 pounds. Why?
--Oh my god. Honey. What are you doing to yourself.
--Enjoying myself that’s all. (hic)
--Don't you see the consequences? You're growing! You'll be a house by the end of
the
summer!
--I know. Isn't it terrible? (I smile.)
I rub my belly and softly moan.
She finishes off her talk with the necessary concerns and warnings. I struggle to my
feet.
Stuffed to the gills!
Holy cow! I'm waddling! Why the hell is this so exciting? Am I twisted? This all
feels
like a new kind of freedom. Balloon Girl. Blimpette. The expanding Wondergirl!
My parents leave an hour later. We exchange hugs and kisses. My mom sizes me up
one
more time, issues warnings and departs.
Cindy is getting off soon. Ed's working tonight. YUM. I will be there soon.
In my dreams, my mother looks on in horror as a machine stuffs me with eclairs,
apple
turn-overs, pie, cookies and ice cream puffs. She begs me to stop. But I smile and the
machine hums on. My thighs are 36" around. My breasts are basketball-sized, my belly
and but are swollen to impossible dimensions, growing. Growing. There is cream on my
chin. The machine hums and stuffs me like a turkey. I look like someone hooked up to
an air hose--growing, ready to explode. Burst. So full full full. Fat. And growing
Friendly's is empty. No customers. Ed and Cindy are laughing and talking as I walk
in.
--Oh, hi Becky!
She calls me over. I sit at the soda counter on a stool. My thighs spread out
deliciously.
My rear falls around the side of the stool. My belly rests on my thighs, full from dinner
earlier. My breasts press against the counter.
It has been four weeks since my parents left. I have ballooned even more
dramatically
than before. My new kick? Blueberry pie a la mode. With whipped cream. My quest
still continues to find the best fried clams on the Cape.
We talk and we laugh. Closing time is in fifteen minutes so I had better eat fast. I
order
from Ed. He returns in a couple of minutes with a plate of appetizers: fried clams,
chicken fingers, potato skins, mozzarella sticks, Cajun fries
--I bet you can't eat all of that!
--Oh yeah?
I dig in. The plate is easily enough for a table of three but my appetite has grown as
much as my body. Because of the rate of my eating, I look swollen, stuffed full, taught,
inflated, bloated very satisfied. My guilt comes less and less frequently. Cindy is
supportive and makes gorging fun. Grandma keeps cooking fattening meals because she
knows no other way. I finish my plate and wipe my chin with my napkin.
Ed looks on in disbelief. I smile and hiccup. He shakes his head and continues to
clean
up.
Cindy disappears in the kitchen and comes back with two plates. On each is a half of
a
blueberry pie a la mode with whipped cream. I hold my huge stomach with
expectancy. Oh my oh my oh my She plops down the half pie in front of me with a
challenge in her eyes. My mind says no. My appetite says you must! It is warm and
the ice cream melts slowly She says:
--Eating contest GO!
And she digs in. This has been a thing with her recently, eating contests. It's fun
though,
having a partner in sin. Sweet sin. Delicious sin. I come up for air, hiccuping.
--Oh Cindy, I can't
--Wimp. Okay quit!
Who can resist a challenge?
Yes. Things are out of control. I know that. Way out of control. Cindy helps me
down
from my stool. I am waddling. Holding my stomach. It is so full. I am going to pop.
Cindy laughs. She rubs--caresses--my bloated, stuffed stomach
--Are you full, my pretty?
--Oh yes oh yes
--You don't want anything more? Hmmm?
--Well NO!
We both laugh. I have never been fuller. What happened to my old body? It was
swallowed up. It disappeared. POOF. Gone. I hardly recognize myself in the mirror. I
am expanding every day and loving it!
We head to the arcade. As we pass by a store I can see our reflections in the store
front and I can no longer tell who is who
Well. Summer is over. I kiss Grandma on the cheek. It is an awkward meeting of
over-stuffed bellies. Our resemblance is striking now I have ballooned, blimped out.
My stuff is packed, the car is full
I am ready to go.
This morning I got on the scale. It read 229. I am twice the size I was when I came!
That is so ridiculous I love it. I am VERY round around the middle. My rear is big,
round, plump--FAT! My thighs are dark and huge I am in a size 22 dress and my
breasts stick way out, resting on my belly. I thank grandma for everything. I am so
grateful to her for letting me spend the summer here.
Hmm, I don't fit in my car like I used to. I have gotten so FAT FAT FAT! And I love
it IS that strange? My plump stomach rubs the steering wheel. I adjust the seat back.
That's how life is going to be, minor adjustments here and there.
Oh well. Better get going. Cindy and Ed took an hour off from work to help me
move in
to Cindy's apartment. I am enrolled at Cape Cod Community College.
And I got a job at Friendly's!